Tom Cruise is a Scientologist wingnut who never sees his youngest child because his “church” doesn’t allow it. But today, I actually had a pang of sympathy for him. Tom Cruise is mostly just minding his own f–king business these days. So imagine you’re Tom Cruise, just minding your own business, and one day Justin Bieber tweets this:

I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom if you dont take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite ?

— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) June 10, 2019

Tom Cruise is 56 years old and by the looks of things, still in pretty good shape. Justin Bieber is 25 years old and maybe 100 lbs soaking wet. Can we not? Can we not live in a world where rando pop stars are like “I CHALLENGE TOM CRUISE TO A FIGHT!” And this: “Tom if you dont take this fight your scared and you will never live it down.” Toxic bro, toxic masculinity, just toxic. Stepping up to a man who is older than his father and then basically calling Tom a p-ssy ahead of time? Are we really doing this?

Speaking of toxic, Conor McGregor responded, bizarrely.

If Tom Cruise is man enough to accept this challenge,
McGregor Sports and Entertainment will host the bout.
Does Cruise have the sprouts to fight, like he does in the movies?
Stay tuned to find out! https://t.co/TxsH9KUyFg

— Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) June 10, 2019

So here we are. In the year 2019, I actually have a pang of sympathy for Tom Cruise. And seriously, how badly is Justin Bieber’s rehabilitation going?