Everyone’s least favorite deranged “royal expert” Ingrid Seward has some new thoughts! Thoughts about Prince Harry’s memoir and who it will affect the most deeply. Thoughts on whether titles should be removed and thoughts about how best to punish Harry and Meghan for existing. Seward makes several dreadful mistakes with her assumptions. It’s almost like she’s awful at her job as self-appointed gate-keeper to white privilege and structural racism.

On the argument that the Queen should remove the Sussex titles: “I don’t think removing the titles would make much difference and it would look very petty. I also don’t think it is something the Queen would want to do at this stage of her reign. It would be far more insulting just to ignore them. Even excluding them from the jubilee next year gives them ammunition to criticise the monarchy.”

On which royal will be most affected by Harry’s memoir: “William is probably the one that will come out of this worst of all because there is a row between- William and Harry and basically if Harry says things that are inappropriate about the monarchy, that is William’s future. It’s not Harry’s future, he is out of it now, but it is William’s future.”

On Charles’ feelings about Harry: “Of course, everyone forgets poor old Prince Charles, who has remained very very quiet about all of this. It is his son and how hurtful can it be for him to hear Harry say that his father hasn’t been a great father – which is more or less some of the things he has already said.”

“It would be far more insulting just to ignore them.” If only! If only any of these people had two brain cells to rub together and the intelligence to keep Meghan and Harry’s names out of their g–damn months. Harry and Meghan would absolutely love it if everyone on that toxic island just ignored them. But these clowns cannot. The Queen doesn’t even want to ignore them – she made it very clear that the Sussexes are invited to the Jubilee next year, and she also made it clear that she still adores her grandson.

As for what C-word says about how William will come out of this “worst of all,” maybe Baldemort should have thought about that when he was waging a smear campaign, you know? And guess what, the monarchy is already in a really bad place.