At different stages in our lives, we have had our shares of hurdles, problems, and situations that were not ideal; and it was different for everyone.
All these go on to shape a lot of the decisions we make and our actions. Ultimately, they may make us question the purpose of life, and we often wonder, why is life so hard?
There are quite a lot of reasons why life can be considered hard. From our emotions and thoughts to our feelings, quite a lot of things contribute to it.
Whether it is our pessimistic attitude, natural circumstances, or challenges, the chances of life becoming miles away from easy are not low. There is a range of reasons behind the challenging paths life lays for us. There are a lot of things to consider here and several questions to answer.
Is Life Really Hard?
The reality of the different shades life comes in is very clear although, it usually comes either on two paths – difficult or easy.
The various situations we find ourselves in sometimes define this. The question about life being on these different sides depends on several factors.
On some days, life feels so hard that we do not see the point in making complaints about how hard it is anymore. But even with this dark situation, we find ourselves, we realize without a doubt that life can be full of goodness, joy and it can be wonderful.
The answer behind how life is perceived depends on the individual around which this question is based on.
From the people around you, the situation you find yourself, and the sources of your thoughts and emotions, several factors can affect your answer.
Psychologically speaking, life can be simple or quite complicated. Judging by the way you want it to be, it can take a difficult or an easy note. According to a filmmaker, composer, and writer, Scott Johnson, he states that it boils down to what you consider living.
He continues by explaining that just like the life of any other animal, you can go about living where' all you do is eat, sleep, and breathe. With that only being your measure of living, things are pretty well off.
A lot of times, however, people have found out that a genuine, interesting, and fulfilling human life roots from moving away from your comfort zone and laying challenges ahead for yourself.
Some could even say that your life will not be complete and whole if it was not difficult at a stage. But you can also add complications to your life and make it hard. Your view on life is crucial and is almost entirely dependent on how difficult or easy you perceive life to be, regardless of the reality.
There are unstoppable or uncontrollable things in life, from unplanned terrible events to terminal illnesses. In fact, we hardly possess complete control over anything in life.
But as uncontrollable as these events might be, there is a possibility of us controlling our reactions and feelings to these events; and that is crucial when life becomes too difficult, which is inevitable.
Scott explains that for him, happiness is of utmost value. It is worth much more than trying to make something ‘meaningful’ happen. “I have often discovered that doing what provides you with happiness and just being who you are is one of the best channels of reaching this meaning, and life may become hard and challenging, but you are enjoying it so much that it is hard to even notice”. He said.
From all these, it can be inferred that there is no definite answer to whether life is really hard or easy. The response to this question depends on us at the end of the day.
How we view life, how we approach it, and how we feel about our choices determine if our life is easy or hard. At this point, the question to be asked is – is life fair?
How Fair Is Life?
Life has hit us with several rocks in different ways at diverse points in our lives. So much that it breeds a lot of questions about our existence and purpose in life.
It is natural to question our steps, efforts, or even feats and what the point is if we feel some things need to be settled in our lives.
From your career, family to friends, and mere acquaintances, questions about life stem from our experiences and others. All these happen as a result of the effects of the problems life throws at us.
For some, it might be after a series of trials, unyielding circumstances, and encounters. For others, these questions start growing when they are faced with disappointments, losses, and challenges at different places in their daily life.
These questions become a means of coping with the impacts of the situations and projecting their emotions. We even hope to find answers in one way or another.
The question about life being fair has surfaced a lot in our lives. From your home to your workplace, the question comes up due to the experiences we go through.
Understanding the reasons for this goes a long way in shaping our views about life; and our approach towards the problems we encounter.
No one is treated fairly by life. No matter the status you hold or the level you may be, at some point or the other, life will always present an unfair side to you for different reasons. Understanding this and realizing that life is unfair to everyone assists you in finding possible solutions and enjoying your life.
Have you heard of anyone who can say that life has been fair? How honest can you say this person is? And even, how do you define fairness in life? Life can be unfair to people, and they will still act as though everything is good with them, smile, and go about living with an optimistic spirit.
This courageous act makes it hard to ascertain if life has been hard for even the people around you. There is something amiss in everybody’s life, and it is the reason behind their worry and unhappiness.
Life is not perfect, and different people have different flaws. Some flaws are temporary, while some require learning how to cope with them.
Some people learn to embrace their flaws and find channels to move on from them, while others are consumed by them, blaming life for not being fair to them.
It is essential to understand that these flaws are what make you unique. Some people learn to become optimistic due to the hurdles life throw at them. Accepting the challenges and transforming them to be instrumental in your life helps you to improve.
The purpose of life, the results of your struggles, and how you handle them are instrumental in determining how unfair life has been to you.
When you understand unfairness is not a punishment, you will be able to make life as fair as possible. This realization will also make other things easy for you and help you see diverse ways your problems can be simplified.
Realizing this gives you a task to achieve and helps you see that purpose can be found in even the darkest places. You start working towards eliminating what you consider unfair, reducing your complaints, and creates a form of relaxation and accomplishment for yourself.
The moment you accept and create paths for unfairness in life to have a hold on you such that you consciously dwell in it, you will be making it easier to live a life of suffering.
But if you face it head-on and work on something to change this situation, you will discover and learn important lessons that are beneficial in helping you grow into a wiser human being.
People who have a negative disposition to life see darkness at night, while the people who carry hope in their hearts look at the stars in the sky and marvel at their beauty.
When you find yourself asking questions like – “Why is life not fair to me? Why does this always happen to me? Why am I suffering from these problems?”, start thinking about how to get positive with your thoughts.
Instead, ask yourself different questions like “Why is my life unfair, and how can I make it better? What lessons does this situation teach me?”
Learn from these situations and understand that it is okay because, in the end, they make you strong. This way, you discover and understand that unfairness is also necessary for life.
Know that bad times and unfairness in life will not always be present. They will not last forever; just like clouds, they will move away because they are fleeting moments.
The important thing is staying strong in these situations without losing hope. This way, you prove that you are stronger than your problems, flaws, and unfairness in life.
Life is unfair to everyone, and that is normal. Realizing this unfairness is beneficial for growth and success will assist you in turning that situation around.
Does Life Ever Get Easier?
With the hurdles we face in life, we often wonder if life ever gets easier. We often ask this question when it comes to our careers, finding our personal happiness, or hoping to mend our relationship with others.
When you look back at your life, you see that you have constantly experienced highs and lows. Some of the high moments in our lives are memories we will hold in our hearts for moments to come, while some of them are important for us to forget.
Life really can present a hurdle at any time, and the struggle to adjust or overcome them can be demanding, and they are usually not easy to cope with.
In light of all these, it is only natural to ask this question as these situations bring about sadness and low self-esteem.
If you think back to some of the most challenging times you have been through, whether it was losing your job or a loved one, even undergoing abuse, this question came up. It even lingered to help you discover something and work towards making your life easier.
The answer to this question lies in your disposition to life and how you handle hardships. From my perspective, I do not think it gets easier.
What gets better is how we handle these situations when they arise, making it easier to cope with future challenges and this mostly has to do with experience of handling it in the past.
As much as you get better at dealing with challenges, it is safe to say it gets easier with age. Here are some reasons behind that conclusion.
1. Emotional Perseverance
Your challenges go a long way in defining the person you are. With the different experiences you go through, you get more used to dealing with challenges.
All these tests help you know how to persevere more and teach you the art of emotional resilience. No matter how young you are, certain situations take you through journeys that will teach you how to approach several life problems.
Even for a 16-year-old individual, an intimate relationship ends can come across as life-shattering and devastating.
After investing emotions and sacrifices into something, it is normal to feel pain and hurt when it all comes apart. Questions about not loving again or seeing happiness in life become that noise that slowly fills your head.
But with age, like divorce at 35, as painful as it can be, it is more likely to be accompanied with an underlying thought saying you have experienced heartbreak before and still found love again. It becomes easier to deal with.
The more experiences you have encountered and gotten lessons from, the better your emotional state in handling similar situations in the future.
2. Financial Freedom
Unless you are born with a silver spoon, there is a restraint to your financial freedom when you are young. There is a huge possibility you are dependent on people for quite a lot of things. From expenses to fulfillment, you rely on people for different things.
Depending on your situation, money may not be abundant for you when you are young. This restricts your freedom and access to cater to different challenges in your life.
As you get older and pick a career path, when you continuously invest in yourself and provide value where' you serve, there will be the ease of making much more money.
The better you get at what you do, the more the likelihood of commanding a higher fee for the expertise that you present to your profession.
When you are good at what you do and offer real value to the world, money will only become easier for you to make even as you get older. This eases the burden of challenges that have financial solutions.
3. Quality Social Network
One of the benefits and deeply fulfilling elements you get from getting older and living a well-rounded life is the social connections you have gathered.
As you become older and find out ways to be the better version of yourself and improve internally, you attract people who share similar values and mentalities, and they become part of your life.
These people become your support system, and it becomes easier to lean on them when you are ever going through situations that are emotionally challenging in your life. This way, things are easier to handle and work on.
The older you get, the more stable your network becomes, the more reliable they get. Nothing feels better than knowing that you are not alone in times of crisis.
When you have all these, life seems to get easy, and you can keep a positive attitude because you have the added experience and factors that make you resilient.
15 Reasons Life Is So Hard And Unfair
Emotions, thoughts, and certain situations can be raised as what makes life so hard, but other things contribute. Here are 15 reasons why life continues to be so hard and unfair for you.
1. Selfishness
If you are a selfish person, you might find that life is more difficult for you than people who tend to give themselves to others.
You do not have to dedicate your whole life to helping people. However, it is a good thing to consider other people from time to time. Being helpful attracts help too. No one will contribute to your growth or come to your aid when you never assist others.
When you are less selfish, it will make you realize how good your own life is, and you become grateful for what you possess in life.
When gratitude is practiced, you appreciate every little win, and you empathize with others. That makes life a whole lot easier.
2. Being Unreliable
If you are the type that makes promises and then go back on them, either to yourself or to someone, then you will find that life is not as easy as it could be.
One of the main reasons people go back on their word is because of discomfort. When you say you will do something, and then you do not, people lose their trust in you.
When you are perceived as untrustworthy, people tend to distance themselves from you. Isolation can make life more challenging than it needs to be.
3. Focusing On The Noise
As much as humans like to adopt the idea of free will, the truth is many factors are involved in our decision-making and choices in life.
We burden ourselves with tremendous amounts of information that are not true, yet we have taken them as fact in our lives.
All of these go on to shape how our decisions and how we live our lives. When you evaluate your thoughts and feelings, you might discover that your free will has been compromised by a lifetime of information coming from different sides. When all these are taken into consideration, they help you understand why your life is hard.
4. Not Taking Responsibility
One of the most resourceful habits you can adopt is taking responsibility for your actions.
Because really, you are ultimately responsible for everything that goes on in your life, including your happiness and unhappiness, successes and failures, and how life feels to you.
However, a brutal life lesson is that some people just do not take responsibility for their lives. They prefer to put blames on other people and be victims. When you refuse to be at the helm of your own life, there is just no way that you can be fulfilled.
5. Human Behavior
At the end of the day, no matter how hard you go about different activities and work on yourself, there is a possibility of someone or another person waiting in the wings to burst your bubble.
There is only so much we can do to control other people. We can only control our feelings and how we react to circumstances that we encounter.
6. Accidents
Accidents are capable of leaving us with a lot of effects. From trauma to pains that will not be overcome easily, unfortunate incidents can take their toll on our lives.
Do your best not to dwell on these incidents. The more you think about it, the more it will make you feel worse. Remember, you still have a life that is worth living.
7. Disabilities
People who have disabilities entertain the possibility of life not being fair to them. This is usually the case because of the prejudices in the world. This can really affect their lives as they are not accessible to a lot of opportunities.
But still, a lot of testaments have shown that people like these can define their own “normal” and live comfortably in it. The world will eventually catch on and dance to the tune you set for yourself. With a mindset like this, everything becomes less complicated, and life loosens in a way.
Yes, it will not be easy, but if you can focus on yourself, you will live your life to the fullest with it.
8. Making Emotional Decisions
Decisions taken in the heat of emotions can be disastrous in many ways. Much thought is not given to these decisions, and they turn out to have consequences. There are various reasons why you need to think before you make certain decisions.
Regrets and rash actions come as a result of emotional decisions, and these can create complications.
Some of our emotions are fleeting, and when decisions are influenced by them, they go on to be irrational and problematic.
The trick to avoiding this? Learn to let your emotions settle before making any decision and think it through.
9. Fear Of Taking Risks
Risks are part of life. It is a normal phenomenon but, it still brings fear. But letting these fears control you will make life more difficult.
They hold you back, make you frustrated, and stop you from living up to your potential. All of which can cause unhappiness and frustration.
It is wise to consider the risks involved in any step you take but not to the point of letting them stop you from going after what you truly want.
Not only do they help you understand that these decisions have consequences, but they also help you prepare better for it and teach you different lessons.
10. Lack Of Experience
When you are not familiar with the process of a particular action you plan to embark on, it can make the situation seem difficult.
But do not burden yourself with this problem. Find avenues to gain more experience in different ways. As a result of this, you breed confidence in yourself and, it becomes a lot easier to embark on the activities you have in mind.
11. Overthinking
Overthinking gives rise to a lot of unpleasant feelings. From anxiety and frustration to unnecessary worries and stress, this habit can cause many difficulties in life. Resist the urge to always think ahead of certain situations and just live in the moment.
Whenever these thoughts rear their ugly head, it is best to write them down. And if it has led to any strain on your mental health, you should see a therapist.
12. High Expectations
I have always been the type to have high expectations about people or things. It was so bad that when they do not measure up, I got disappointed. This cost me my happiness and made me less grateful. Learning to manage my expectations has made life easier for me.
I believe this happens with quite a lot of people too. High expectations are not one of the best ways to view things. So try to manage your expectations whenever you set your mind to something. That way, you can plan towards any effects you get and get a lot less hurt.
13. Not Asking For Assistance
For some, they feel embarrassed when they solicit help from people. Others are scared of the rejection that comes with it.
Learn to ask for help when you need it. It might not work out, but at the very least, you tried that. You might get lucky and be directed to someone who can actually help. This way, you do not have to do things all by yourself, and the burden is less.
14. Entitlement
Some people feel so entitled to the extent of expecting everyone to cave to please them. So when things do not go their way, frustration seeps in, and their lives seem difficult.
To be clear on this, the only thing you are entitled to is whatever you have worked to earn. Everything else that has been given to you has been given out of kindness and not because you deserve it.
It is only fair that you show gratitude when people go out of their way to be kind to you no matter how little it may seem and accept the situation with grace when they do not. This can make life easier to deal with. It is vital to curb every sense of entitlement you may have felt.
15. Procrastination
Delaying things you are supposed to do can pave the ways for frustration, confusion, and low self-esteem, all of which can make your life difficult.
If procrastination has become a habit and you cannot stop it on your own, we have a sure guide on how to beat procrastination and be more productive with your time.
Do your best to face your problems head-on and be less scared of the results. Procrastination not only steals time from you but also opportunities, joy, and ease.
What Should I Do When Life Gets Hard?
Going about different activities in our lives is like driving on a journey. Sometimes, the road is smooth enough to ensure a thrilling and joyful experience, and sometimes, it is filled with bumps that make you uncomfortable.
Life is not a bed of roses; there will always be peaks and valleys. On your peak days, you feel filled with life and totally motivated.
There is this happy essence you carry and channel into taking massive actions. There is a feeling of satisfaction and achievement in how you go about doing things.
You feel down and inferior on other days. Your spirit becomes devoid of any motivation, and all you want is to do nothing. You feel like a loser.
During these moments, you ask a lot of questions and second-guess your decisions and actions. There are even chances of you being unproductive at what you do and carry feelings of regret too. These are the times you feel life is hard and ask questions about what to do.
But through this all, it is also perfectly normal to ask questions that will help tackle these challenges.
Asking this question shows that you acknowledge that it can be fixed, and you would rather not play the blame game. It helps to point out the exact problems as well as discovering ways to solve them. Here are some things you can do when life is hard.
1. Remember That Change Is Constant
One of the things to remember when going through rough situations in life is that things will never be the same forever. If you are going through tough times, there is no need to worry because things will never stay the same.
There will always be a time where' what you are going through will become a memory. When you look back and remember it, you might probably laugh at how it seemed like the end of the world. Not only because it took you through a significant journey but because you now realize your worries then were of no use.
Just like the rain, once it is over, the sun will later appear to shine on you. Enduring the challenges and seeing a positive side makes it easy for you to believe the good times will come.
Things may not stay the same permanently in your life. When you are going through difficult times, understand that they are not here to stay but to come to pass and teach you lessons about life.
2. Understand That Hardships Are Necessary
No matter who you are or what you desire to achieve in life, these are things that you must go through. It is one of those things that will shape who you go on to become.
Taking hardships as a challenge and stepping stones to success in making your life better is a better disposition. A lot of notable people in the world attribute their success to the different setbacks they have had.
Several groundbreaking inventions are a result of previous failures. Their refusal to accept any result less than ideal and their convictions that it can be possible led to their success.
There will not be successes without failures. Setbacks, defeats, and challenges are what contributes to success and achievement. There is a possibility you learn the most when you fail.
As a matter of fact, studies have shown that humans have gotten lessons, achieved, and evolved much more from their failures than their successes.
So anytime you view life as a hardship, look at successful people in society and how they accomplished outstanding results worth admiration in life because they went through the difficult times and learned from there.
Hardships are necessary for your growth, success, and your view on life. It gives a personal perspective to everyone and creates uniqueness in each person.
3. Be Optimistic
Viewing life from a positive side is easier said than done. But keep in mind that with every difficult situation, there is always something good about to emerge.
When you look at it with the purpose of understanding, you will see that situation happened for a reason, and as bad it may seem, some lessons can be learned from it that will be of benefit to you in other future situations.
According to Napoleon Hill, the best-selling author of Think and Grow Rich, every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
Many successful people in the world today owe their success to thinking of the positive sides of the difficulties they have encountered.
So learn to look at any problem you face from an optimistic point of view and welcome frustrations with an open heart. Understanding that every setback and difficulty is an opportunity to learn and grow helps you find ways to tackle it with courage and a positive attitude.
With this mindset, life would not seem so difficult anymore because you now have the perspective that brings solutions instead of focusing on the problem.
4. Focus On What You Can Control
Sometimes, we are presented with situations beyond our control. Trying to control what we cannot leads to frustration and disappointment. No matter what we work on, there is just no way we can change it.
Before you go on to attempt a solution to a problem, identify it first. Is it something you can control? If not, who can handle this situation? Why is it beyond your control? These questions make the solution clearer.
As human beings, we are prone to worry when we can not change a situation. Instead of worrying, we should focus on what is left to control. As hard as it might seem, it is crucial to note and accept this.
Usually, whenever there is a problem, most people focus on the issue and apportion blame instead of working on a solution. The good news is, you can choose to focus on the solution and on what is within your control.
When you fail to accomplish your objective or your target, just focus on what you can do at the moment. Do not waste your time dwelling on the problem, the defeat, or trying to look for who to blame. Work on what is left and make up your mind not to make such mistakes anymore.
5. Rekindle Your Motivation
Another thing to do when you feel life is hard is to remember why you started in the first place and rekindle that flame. Whenever you are facing hard times in life, reigniting your motivation goes a long way.
While you cannot solely depend on motivation because it comes and goes, you need a purpose to take yourself through tough times. Revisit your purpose and question yourself on the reason behind your actions while reminding yourself about your purpose in life.
More importantly, you can practice exercises like visualization and affirmation to keep yourself driven, stay focused, and on track. You can even listen to motivational songs or audiobooks and read inspirational materials like this article.
When your level of motivation is elevated, you tend to be more conscious and aware of the situation around you. And when you know what you are doing, you possess better control of the problem.
6. Get Another Opinion
When you feel stuck and look at your situation from your own perspective, it can be hard to look for a solution. In this case, what is natural to do is get another opinion from someone else or think about it from a third-person perspective. Look at the situation from another person’s point of view and see if you can discover any angle of attack or any form of solution to your problem.
When you are lost in a crowded place, one of the methods to get back your direction is to find a higher plane and look down to find your path back from a bird-eye view. This way, you get a full grasp of the ground and find the possible path from where' you started.
Similarly, this can be applied to your life. When you feel confused or lost, pull yourself out of the equation and then look at the situation from the outside view.
Most challenges require you have to untangle your mind and think from a different angle. Looking for a way out of the web when you are right in the middle of it can prove to be very difficult. However, when you look at it from the outside, things become vivid.
Whenever you feel like is getting too difficult and you are at a loss on, what to do, all these tips and many more can help you find a starting point to your solution.
Conclusion
To cap it all, no matter what you might be faced with currently, it is necessary to understand that the power to give meaning to your situation is in your hands. So if you think that life is hard, it is because your thinking makes it that way.
Sometimes life may feel like an everyday war we have to fight. We feel like we are barely staying alive, and out of the blue, bad things happen to us and make us feel down.
The reality is that it happens to everyone, and it is just a phase and an uncomfortable situation. What we choose to do with it is what matters. Life might appear unfair, but you can always turn your lemon into lemonade.
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