At your better movie theaters, they employ theater ninjas to prowl the floor and throw a shuriken into the head of anyone who uses their mobile phone during the show. Less swanky theaters will just have ushers dressed in black ask you to leave. On Broadway, the actors will tweet at you from the stage and tell you to knock it off. At least if you’re Kanye West.

Hey @kanyewest so cool that you’re here at @TheCherShow! If you look up from your cell phone you’ll see we’re doing a show up here. It’s opening night. Kind of a big deal for us. Thanks so much.

— Jarrod Spector (@jarrodspector) December 4, 2018

At this point, I was kind expecting a series of tweets about how Kanye bum-rushed the stage and decided to play Sonny Bono himself wearing a MAGA hat and punching out Taylor Swift, but he was actually super polite and contrite, especially for Kanye West.

the dynamics of Cher and Sonny’s relationship made Kim and I grab each other’s hand and sing “I got you babe”
please pardon my lack of etiquette. We have so much appreciation for the energy you guys put into making this master piece.

— ye (@kanyewest) December 4, 2018

the dynamics of Cher and Sonny’s relationship made Kim and I grab each other’s hand and sing “I got you babe”
please pardon my lack of etiquette. We have so much appreciation for the energy you guys put into making this master piece.

He’s the only person in the world to ever say “Cher and Sonny,” I’ll bet.

You know, I looked to see if Cher’s name was Cher Bono, and it’s actually Cherilyn Sarkisian La Piere Bono Allman. I’d shorten that, too.

The Cher Show itself is one of those jukebox musicals where people spend $500 on tickets to hear worse versions of the songs on an album you could buy for $10 on iTunes and then wonder why people voted for Trump, and it just opened on Broadway.